i hate myself.

Sparkly BPD

Such a powerful statement, right? It’s pretty strong.

I hate the way I look.
I hate my weight.
I hate my personality.
I hate BPD.
I hate my high’s and lows.
I hate my extreme’s.
I hate not being able to relate.
I hate caring too much.
I hate being able to detach so easily.
I hate being able to attach so easily.
I’m just not happy with myself.

See, the issue with me telling anyone this, is that they don’t understand. They don’t understand what it’s like to actually hate yourself. They’d say, “You’re beautiful!” “Your weight is fine!” and then start thinking that I’m just craving attention or just fishing for compliments. I’m not. 

It hurts. I can’t even begin to tell you. I’m just so disgusted with myself. I coloured my arm this morning because of that. Just pure hate towards myself. E-mailed my therapist, regarding our next appointment, and let…

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