Last night, our daughter had a temper tantrum. She wanted to go camping at some quarry with a friend…at 9:30 pm…at the last minute…somewhere that we didn’t even know of…at 15 years old. She’ll be 16 in August. We said “No.” She didn’t like that. She’s never even been camping in her life! She’s probably hate it. Grandma suggested her and her friend go camping in the backyard. She didn’t want to and stated screaming at Grandma.
We ended up calling the cops. They calmed her down a bit eventually. She’d called her grandma and asked to take her to this quarry. She told her that we’d said that she could go, which we definitely hadn’t.
She rushed at her little brother, who’s 11, with rage in her eyes. He held his arms out at her, to block her, terrified. I took him to his room and locked the door. He started crying and I cuddled with him and we watched some funny videos on his iPod. He’s used to this. Usually he just thinks, “There she goes again!” and goes to his room. But I know that it’s affecting him. He thought that she might have hit her grandma with the door, and he tried to stop her.
The cops can’t really do anything unless our daughter is a danger to herself or others. She was in the hospital in January for a couple of weeks but it didn’t help. She was supposed to take medication and she won’t. The doctor said that we can’t force her to take it. She was seeing a counsellor, but she wasn’t participating in therapy, so they closed the file.
When she turns 16, there’s nothing we can do for her. A friend told me that she’ll probably end up on the streets. She’s so bright and could make something of herself. I feel so helpless! I wish she’d accept help and get better.
In the hospital, she was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD. She told her counsellor that she was over it. As far as I know, you cannot get over PTSD on your own, you need counselling, which she won’t do.
I don’t know if she has BPD or not. There’s a DBT program that I did several years ago that she could do when she turns 16, but it’s very intensive and you have to really be committed to the program and on working to get better, which she wouldn’t do.
She’s been pretty quiet today. Usually after these emotional outbursts/meltdowns, the next day she mostly stays in her room and is very quiet and co-operative. I don’t know if it’s because she feels guilty about her behaviour? It’s been a few years of this now and we know the pattern.
She handed out resumes a few weeks ago for summer jobs. I can’t see her working this summer. She never sticks with anything.
I’m so tired of everything!
So hard at that age, I didn’t even realize I had a problem then. All I knew was people got in the way of things that I felt I needed to do and intense rage resulted. I never felt connected to anyone at that time in my life, even my guardian who’m I known to love me with all her heart, so I had no remorse for my tantrums. It wasn’t until I started working, and got into college that I gained a sense of who I was and what wasn’t right. I hope this gives you a bit of insight into her mind, all we need is love and a lot of perseverance to be healed. Please don’t give up on her, I don’t know where I’d be if my guardian had given up on me. stay strong.