We are not all exact cut-outs of each other. Everyone has their own unique individual personality. My mother-in-law keeps remarking about how our daughter and our son is so different, even though they were brought up exactly the same. But they are not the same people! She thinks that my brain works the same as hers, that I should do things the same way that she does, in the same time that she does, when she does, how she does. She thinks that what works for her when she’s kind of down or stressed out should work for me too. Sometimes it does, but not always. I took DBT several years ago and am more in touch with my emotions than I have ever been in my entire life. I know if something’s going to work for me or not. I appreciate her suggestions but if something was going to work for me, I’d be doing it. Obviously it doesn’t work.
For those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder, we are very different from other people. Our brains are wired totally differently. It can even be observed in brain scans. You can’t see it just by looking at us, therefore people have no idea how sensitive we are and don’t give us the compassion that we need. Instead, we get stigmatized and invalidated.
Just remember that you are not a cookie cutter cut-out! You are unique, you are beautiful, and you are you! You are perfect just the way you are!