My Daughter’s 17th Birthday Today

Today was my daughter’s 17th birthday.  She was staying with friends and she didn’t come home or call us last night.   😦  I spent the day cleaning her room.  I asked her to do it the other day but she didn’t so I had to do it.  What a disaster area!  Her room was so disgusting – food lying around. Old glasses of juice. Old chocolate milk cartons full of clumpy milk. I had to get some new rubber gloves. I need to get some caution tape too. Just kidding (sort of!)

I wish she’d just straighten up and come home.  But we can’t force her.  The police said that they can only let us know that she’s safe.  They can’t do anything because she’s 17.  But yet we’re responsible for her legally and financially until she’s 18.  That doesn’t make any sense to me.  It wasn’t like that when I was growing up.  You did what your parents told you until you were 18.  Then, you were an adult and legally responsible for yourself.   Times have changed so much!  For the worse, if you ask me!

All we do is worry about her.  I couldn’t sleep last night because of it.  She’s so smart and could make something of herself if she put her mind to it.  She’s missed pretty much all of high school.  In the smaller grades, even in preschool, the teachers used to say how detailed her drawings were.  And she loved to read.  But that’s not cool for teenagers, I guess!

Why can’t she be one of those teenagers who is helping out their community, making a difference?  Instead, she’s wasting her life away, hanging out and doing nothing.  I don’t know how much longer her friends will let her mooch off of them.  Then she’ll be in for a rude awakening!  What kind of job can she get with no education?

She just came home for a few minutes to get some money for takeout.  We said no because she didn’t clean her room and didn’t tell us who she went to the beach with.  She said she went with a certain friend (we thought).  Turns out it was a different friend with the same first name.  How were we supposed to know that?  She says that none of her friends have phones so she can’t call us and let us know that she’s staying at a friend’s for the night.  That’s what payphones are for.  She doesn’t believe in them.  She says she wants to spend her birthday with people she wants to hang out with.  Gee, thanks!  She says we don’t care about her.  Right!  That’s why we had the cops check on her.  Because we don’t care.  She’s gonna end up like my brother – couch-surfing.

I don’t know what to do anymore.  Our hands are tied.  We can’t really do anything.  I feel so helpless!  Watching our daughter waste her life away like this.  I wish there was something we could do.  We’ve tried everything we can possibly think of.  There’s nothing left to try.  She needs help but she won’t accept it.  I wish she would.

Thanks for listening to my rambling on.  I really needed to let that out.  Please send some good vibes our way if you can.  Thank you!

– Joyce.


4 responses to “My Daughter’s 17th Birthday Today

  1. I’m really sorry to hear this. I know I’m not a parent, but it sounds like you’re doing the best you can for her: All you can do is to let her know that you are there for her and you care, and hope that when she is ready, she will take the help you are offering. Parenting always seems really hard! Good luck, Joyce!


  2. Sending you big hugs and lots of good vibes. I hate to say it, but could your daughter also have BPD or another personality disorder? Might be worth checking into if you haven’t already. Here’s a couple more {{hugs}}.


    • I was told that she doesn’t have BPD. I don’t know if she may have some traits of it. I think she definitely has some psychological problems. We were told a couple years ago that she may have PTSD symptoms from our house fire. We can’t force her to get help though, and she won’t talk to anyone. Thank you so much for the hugs. Much appreciated!



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