Crying for Takeout


My daughter showed up at the Peer Support Centre today.  She wanted money for takeout for lunch again.  I told her that we couldn’t afford it.  She started crying and trying to make me feel guilty.  She said that she’d have to start begging random people on the street for money for food.  I told her that she could grab an apple or a granola bar at the Peer Support Centre for free to hold her until suppertime.  She didn’t want an apple or a granola bar.  She wanted takeout.  Eventually she left.  I talked to the staff and to my counselor today.  My nerves get so bad wondering when she’s gonna come next and bug me for money.  The Peer Support Centre is supposed to be my place to take care of me and de-stress.  She comes there and causes stress.  Where do I go now?  What do I do?

She told me today that her and her boyfriend are supposed to get their own place at the end of the month.  I asked her how they could afford it.  She said with his Welfare cheque.  I told her that she should call them and be put on his cheque, but she won’t call.  She’s gonna be off our cheque.  We won’t get any Baby Bonus money for her.  We’ll have to start looking for a cheaper place as soon as possible.

I know she’s probably gonna be there tomorrow.  I’m dreading it!  I’ll have to say no to her again, and she’ll probably start crying again.  She says she keeps sleeping in and missing lunch.  She needs to set an alarm clock to wake herself up in time to sign up for lunch at the Peer Support Centre or go to the Mission for lunch.  Not my problem!

Sorry for the rant again today!  It really got to me when she started crying.  It was so hard to say no.  Which was exactly her intention of course.  But I did it.  I’ll probably have to do it again tomorrow, though.  Wish me luck!

– Joyce.

5 responses to “Crying for Takeout

  1. I know it’s not my place to say this, but I think your daughter is asking you for more, certainly financially, than is remotely reasonable. You deserve for her to think about your needs as well. Your needs are important too, even if she is your child. I’m saying this because I want you to not feel so bad about not giving her money. You are there for her, in so many ways, and you even signposted her to places where she can get food. Take-aways are expensive, and if your daughter wants her independence, in my opinion (although it is not family, so feel free to ignore it) she should actually demonstrate it, instead of bleeding you dry because she won’t get up in the mornings.

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  2. Sorry, should have written “it is not my family…”

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    • Thanks for commenting. I need all the moral support I can get. I have to psych myself up for tomorrow, since she’ll probably ask for money for takeout again. I’m gonna try my hardest not to give in to her.

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  3. I really wish I could help you, and I know you may not agree with my opinion and I don’t really have the right to state it, but I really do think that you are a very loving, generous person, and I hate to watch the effect this has on you. I want your daughter to be okay too, but she doesn’t seem to be helping herself and I hate that you are facing so much stress. I don’t have the answers, but I do wish, from the bottom of my heart, that she gets things sorted out soon and you are in a much better position, both financially and in terms of your relationship with her. Take care, because you are a wonderful person.

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