My Husband’s Diagnoses and Our Relationship

I am in recovery from BPD.  My husband has his own problems.  We never do anything together.  He suffers from depression, anxiety, social anxiety, agoraphobia.  He never leaves the house.  At our old house, he used to go to the park and play with the kids.  Now, he doesn’t even play out back with our son.  Once in a blue moon, we watch a movie.  But that’s really rare.

I wish we had our old house back.  I miss it so much.  My husband even misses it.  He hated it the whole time we lived there, but now he wishes we still lived there instead of where we’re living now.  I used to sometimes have alone time to listen to my music without my headphones on, so I could sing along and get lost in the music.  I can’t do that anymore since he never leaves the house, and he hates my music.  Everyone hates my music.

He used to have hobbies, which he can’t work on at this house.  He used to build drum kits.  He had one almost ready to sell, along with a guitar he built but then they were lost in the fire.  He has a drum kit of his own he plays once in a while.  He’d like to play every day but he doesn’t.  I think it’s because of depression and other issues.  I wish he’d get some help.  I think everyone in this family could use some help, but I’m the only one getting any.  I wish I could convince him to see someone, but he won’t for various reasons/(excuses?)

Everything was so different when the kids were little.  My sister used to come over sometimes for the night and help out.  He’d get some alone time to play his music, and my sister and I would take the kids out for the day.  We’d go to the park, the library, the boardwalk along the river.  And maybe once a month, the kids would go over to my parents’ house for the night and my hubby and I would get a night off together.  That hasn’t happened for a few years now.  I miss it so much!

Thanks again for listening to my rambling.  I don’t know what to do about this anymore.  There’s probably nothing that I can do.  Except take care of myself by doing what I’m doing now – going to the Peer Support Centre every weekday and attending groups to better myself and socialize.  Talk to you all later,

– Joyce.

6 responses to “My Husband’s Diagnoses and Our Relationship”

  1. It is challenging to live with myself. I haven’t had a partner since 1995 and I can’t imagine what it must be like for you! I think you gave yourself great advise by taking care of yourself and going to peer support groups everyday! Great work at radical acceptance of your situation! ❤ Debbie


    1. Thank you! Blogging helps, along with running my Facebook Page and other links. I also enjoy running my BPD group but I’m frustrated that hardly anyone attends. ❤


  2. Too bad you lost so much. It seems that, through the years, you had to endure many losses which must be very hard to deal with. It shows that you have lots of strength, which you should be proud of.
    Hopefully a day will come where your husband will seek help. That he will notice he’s not the only one suffering the losses.
    All I can do is read your blog and try to give you positive feedback with likes and comments. I hope it helps, even if it is just a little…
    Love, LW 🌷


    1. It helps a lot. It’s what keeps me going. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband and I both have bipolar. I also have borderline and he has ADD. It took ages to get him to realize that he needed help. Actually, it took me waking up in the middle of the night to find him counting his sleeping pills and then putting my foot down and hauling him in to see a psych doc. So maybe there’s hope. Josh feels a lot better now and has freely admitted that getting help was the right thing to do. It’s a long road though. I hope you’re able to get through to your husband soon.


    1. I’ve been trying to get through to him for years now. I keep trying, even though it’s gonna take something big to happen to get him to see anyone again. Thanks for your comment.



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