My Daughter’s 18 Today, and Why Haven’t I Cried for my Brother Yet?

Today is my daughter’s 18th birthday.  It seems like just yesterday she was born.  She showed up at the Peer Support Centre this morning.  I gave her cards from her dad and I, her grandparents on my side and her grandfather from out of town.  She was very happy with them.  She got a bit of money in each card except ours.  We’ll have to get her something belated.

Something has been really bothering me for a while now.  When my friend moved away at Christmas without telling me several years ago, I cried for weeks.  My husband said that I ruined Christmas.  But I haven’t shed a tear for my brother yet.  It seems like I cared more about her than my own brother, which I don’t.  Is it because I’ve learned how to manage my emotions better since then?  Or because I’m still numb and in shock?  Or both?

Just trying to sort out my feelings and all that’s going on in my head.  Till next time,

— Joyce


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