On invalidation


closertohappiness

There have certainly been times in my life where people have questioned my ability to do certain activities. Some people have told me I was being “too sensitive,” behaving “like a victim,” and more.

There have also been times where people likely meant to be encouraging. “You can do it!” “Fake it ’til you make it!” “You just need to believe in possibility.” “Step up, I’ve seen you do it before!”

I have come to recognize that both kinds of statements have the potential be invalidating. Someone telling me to keep going when I had little resources or capacity to continue was not helpful. Even positive encouragement has sometimes across as dismissive, not taking the time to full acknowledge my experience. In retrospect, it’s a bit like, “I know you meant well, but did you really hear what I was saying?”

I have also realized that it’s fairly easy to…

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