Source: The 3 Essential Emotion Skills for Parenting | Childhood Emotional Neglect
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I totally agree with the points made about the emotional needs of children, and think the example is really insightful on the whole. However, I find it odd that the author takes the view that Zach should always do what the teacher says, and that his response was “rude”. I thought Zach stood up for himself against something he disagreed with well, and that such assertiveness would probably serve him well as he grows up and has to face the world. I don’t like this: “However, she can’t stop there, because his tendency to debate (the likely result of having two highly verbal older siblings) will continue to be a problem for Zach at school unless he can correct it. ” Good debate skills, involving reason and listening to the other side, are an excellent thing for a child to develop. Perhaps he would do well to learn to keep cool in such situations, but I don’t think his behaviour needs “correct[ing]”.
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I agree that good debate skills are an excellent thing for a child to develop. He does need to keep his behaviour in check, though. What would you have said instead?
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I disagree that he did anything wrong. If one adult said to another adult that they ought not to do something, and that other person responded that they didn’t think what they were doing was harmful, that would be a perfectly reasonable conversation. Unless the problem is that he reacts with aggression towards teachers and other adults, in which case it might be worth talking to him about how he can calm himself in those situations and consider the other person’s view, and try to explain himself calmly.
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He would definitely need to curb his aggression if that’s how he reacted towards teachers and other adults. Maybe it would be good to teach him some mindfulness skills.
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That’s a great idea! 🙂
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I think so! 😉
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