Original: IMPROVING THE MOMENT : VACATION


Dialectical Blaine

I woke up feeling the need to write. The need hasn’t presented itself in a week. The desire has been there, ‘I should write today.’ I suppose the thoughts which plague me as soon as I open my eyes haven’t been kicking around my brain lately.

Today I woke and frustration hit me. Frustrated by the people who have let me down in recent months. Fear of remaining in a relationship I can guarantee will hurt me again – the greater fear being humiliated in the process – please don’t let it be her. Sadness of feeling abandoned by several people – family, friends, partner. Shame of recent actions. Semi-guilt for the amount of food I consumed yesterday – I could have had a chocolate croissant in the morning, instead I chose to eat 3 after 10pm & an apple strudel – nevermind the 4 freshly deep-fried samosa’s I had for lunch. Upcoming…

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