I can change…


Life is hell, & living is a nightmare.

I try to remember the things I’ve been taught in my DBT class. Be mindful. Don’t push negative thoughts away. Observe. Tip your temperature. Problem solve. Cope ahead. Check the facts. Participate. Sooth. Distract.

Trying to change the way my mind works has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Having no one who knew how to help me in my 28 years of existence, I found my own ways to cope. Unhealthy ways. Screaming, raging, sobbing. Hitting myself, burning myself, scratching myself until I bleed. Hurting myself seems to solve multiple problems. It distracts me from the emotional agony, it shows other people how badly I’m hurting, & it is a way to punish myself.

I can be cruel. I make scathing remarks. I accuse. I beg for forgiveness. I don’t allow myself to trust anybody but my own…

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