Category Archives: Editorials

Don’t Call Me A Monster


With These Wings

I knew I was a monster by the time I was fifteen. Everything had gone bad. I had no understanding of the things I was doing and saying. Neither did anyone around me. Well, the people who knew and that was only my immediate family. I would be too ashamed to admit it to anyone else, even though I desperately needed help.

My parents wanted to help me but had no idea how. They wondered whether this was simply normal teenage stuff. It wasn’t! They should have got me some help. But hindsight is wasted. They didn’t get me help, and it remained a secret. I had become a monster! I was sure!

What followed were major life decisions I quietly made according to my belief that I was a monster. I quickly concluded that I should never be a parent. I couldn’t inflict myself on a child, nor could…

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August 31st Update


I “graduated” from therapy last year.  However, due to recent events in my life, I have started seeing my counsellor again.  I don’t see her every week, but we do keep in touch.  I saw her weekly for a while.

I have seen a resident at my doctor’s office and have had my meds reduced.  I am now taking half a tablet of Abilify instead of a whole one daily.  I am still taking one capsule of Cymbalta daily.  So – 2.5 mg of Abilify and 60 mg of Cymbalta.  My next goal is to go off the Abilify completely and reduce the Cymbalta gradually.

I have had a lot of support from my family and friends during this difficult time in my life. I am very grateful to them!

I am really enjoying being a grandma!  My daughter and I are getting into a bit of a good routine with the baby.  It’s hard to believe she’s two months old now!

That’s all for now.  Have a great weekend and Labour Day, if you celebrate it.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

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BPD stigma is ‘most common’ crisis trigger | MHT


via BPD stigma is ‘most common’ crisis trigger | MHT

Please Check Out Project I Am Not Ashamed


Please check out this very important project here:

 

and here:

https://www.facebook.com/projectiamnotashamed/

 

Thank you!

— Joyce.

Project I Am Not Ashamed Local Results


Well, Project I Am Not Ashamed didn’t go quite as well in my area as I had hoped.  We had a few interested people.  I’m hoping to reach more people next year.  Too many things happened in my life this year to make it much of a success.  Oh well, my friends and I are using it for practice for next year.  Bigger and better!

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Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette


via Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

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Self taught Richmond filmmaker shines light on borderline personality disorder – Hammersmith and Fulham news – NewsLocker


via Self taught Richmond filmmaker shines light on borderline personality disorder – Hammersmith and Fulham news – NewsLocker

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Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette


via Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

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When Negative, Nasty or Limiting Thoughts Arise | Weightless


via When Negative, Nasty or Limiting Thoughts Arise | Weightless

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My Relationship Isn’t Doomed Just Because I Have Borderline Personality Disorder


via My Relationship Isn’t Doomed Just Because I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

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The Birth of #Project I Am Not Ashamed — AFSP


via The Birth of #Project I Am Not Ashamed — AFSP

New Addition To My Family!


My daughter just had a baby!  She’s a preemie, so she’s very tiny.  We just got to bring her home on Friday.  We’ve been very busy!  I love being a grandma!  I can’t wait to show her off to everybody!  A couple of family members have gotten to see her already.  She’s the cutest little thing ever!  Of course I could be a little biased!

I hope everyone is having a great summer.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

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Hillsborough: Mental Health Survivor’s Blog Tells It Like It Is – New Brunswick NJ News – TAPinto


via Hillsborough: Mental Health Survivor’s Blog Tells It Like It Is – New Brunswick NJ News – TAPinto

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What it’s like to be a mother when you have borderline personality disorder | Metro News


via What it’s like to be a mother when you have borderline personality disorder | Metro News

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What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? – The Muddled Mother


via What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? – The Muddled Mother

Worst Weekend Ever!!!


I had a horrible weekend!  My husband passed away unexpectedly.  My son has been having a very hard time with it.  They were very close.  I’m still in shock.  Everyone says that I’m doing so well dealing with it.  I have no choice.  I have to be strong for my son.  Someday, when he’s doing much better, I’ll probably break down.  Right now, I can’t.  I have to be there for him.  We are making arrangements for a Celebration of Life for him.  I miss him so much!  We just celebrated our 21st anniversary in March.  In a few years, it would have been our 25th anniversary.  We were going to do something special.  We don’t usually do anything because we’re broke.  But we were going to find the money somewhere to do something small.  We deserved it.  Now that will never happen.  Everyone keeps telling me not to dwell on that.  A friend told me that I could still do something special for myself on that day.  It’s going to be so hard!

Please send some positive thoughts to my family and me.  We can really use it right now.  Thank you so much for everyone who is there for me.  It is so appreciated!

Till next time,

— Joyce.

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Three Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself Starting Today


via Three Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself Starting Today

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Can BPD’s Show Empathic Traits? | Searching For Grey


via Can BPD’s Show Empathic Traits? | Searching For Grey

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The differences between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder | Metro News


via The differences between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder | Metro News

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10 Commonly Overlooked Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder – Awareness Act


via 10 Commonly Overlooked Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder – Awareness Act

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How to Break the Stress Reaction Cycle


via How to Break the Stress Reaction Cycle

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Mindfulness, Relaxation Training Both Can Ease Stress But In Different Ways


via Mindfulness, Relaxation Training Both Can Ease Stress But In Different Ways

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Clearview Treatment Programs Hosts Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Workshop with Dr. Alec L. Miller, PsyD June 22, 2018 in CA


via Clearview Treatment Programs Hosts Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Workshop with Dr. Alec L. Miller, PsyD June 22, 2018 in CA

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Identity Disturbance And Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)


via Identity Disturbance And Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Medication Update


I had a doctor’s appointment this morning to check on my medication.  She lowered the dose of my Abilify.  I’m going from 2 tablets to 1 1/2 for two weeks, then down to 1 tablet for two weeks.  I see her again in July.  She’s leaving my Cymbalta the same for now.  We both thought that I was doing so well that I might not need as much medication.  I was told by staff at the Peer Support Centre that I was taking initiative and being a leader in all kinds of projects there.  They have seen a big change in me lately.  I feel so confident.  I love feeling like I’m making a difference to people.

So, right now, I’m on 7.5 mg of Abilify and 60 mg of Cymbalta for two weeks, then 5 mg of Abilify and 60 mg of Cymbalta, to be reassessed in one month.

That’s all for now.  Till next time,

— Joyce.