I am not a professional! I am just a fellow BPD sufferer, currently in recovery. I can only express things from my own point of view. In this blog, things that I post are based on my own experiences, and those of others – from talking to them, and from my own personal research. I post things that I learned in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) several years ago, which I recently took a refresher course on.
I post things on this blog that I believe many of us can relate to. Some of them are positive – to try and help us through the bad times, and give us a laugh when needed. Some things are not quite as light – to show others that they’re not alone, and that there are others who know what they’re going through. To show you that you will not be invalidated for how you feel, and told to just “snap out it.” Also, to show Non-BPD’s what we go through every day – how we think and feel. The reasons for our behaviour and how intense our emotions are.
I welcome comments and suggestions, but will not tolerate abuse. If you have a difference of opinion, that’s fine. If you try to verbally attack me or anyone else who responds here, you will be told that it is not welcome here. If it continues, you will be banned. Luckily, I haven’t had to deal with too much of this. This is supposed to be a safe place for us to vent.
I post articles from reliable sources – Dr. Marsha Linehan, creator of DBT and a sufferer herself; Dr. Blaise Aguirre, Director of the residential DBT program for young women at 3East at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital – the first program of its kind, and author of Borderline Personality Disorder in Adolescents: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Coping When Your Adolescent has BPD, the first book of its kind; and many others.
Here you’ll find: blog posts and re-blogs, articles, pictures, videos, and much more. Feel free to browse the site and let me know what you think. I hope you’ll find it informative and supportive.
Thanks for reading,
– Joyce.
I am interested in your blog. I have not been diagnosed with BPD by any of the several therapists I have seen over the years but my late mother in law (not a psychologist or even close but who openly expressed her disdain for me from early on in our marraige to the “good son”) did diagnose me with that after talking to a friend who had a friend who had a relative with BPD. She then gave books by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason to all of the relatives, including my daughters. Until now (they are 33 and 27), we had no idea how much ill will they harbored toward me (but not their dad, my husband whom they idealize, we had issues for a time with regard to him trying to be their friend rather than a parent who set limits). Then, a couple of weeks ago, one of them chose to become estranged (no one will tell us why although my PTSD due to dealing with threats from some drug/gang people renting a house by us in our little prison economy town and with whom other neighbors are admitting they are afraid of could be why). She has been going through a great deal the last two years and we have had to do a major tough love thing with her a couple of times due to some scary behaviors of hers which just cropped up. But, she wrote to us that she, my sister, our other daughter, and my late mother in law all had “evidence” as she put it, that I am BPD and that until such time as I can go to a therapist who agrees that I have BPD, she will not have a relationship with us. Suddenly, our oldest daughter whom I had suggested become a little closer to her sister and help her as I couldn’t seem to do so, suddenly went from being reasonable and loving to refusing to talk to me and would only discuss me with her dad if I was not around. She said that our youngest daughter had told her things. My husband told her that he refuses to talk behind my back (an issue for us with an extended family who alwasy liked to gossip, compare the quality of lives of each in the family, etc save for my late parents and his sister).
Anyway, I apologize, I am just blown away by what has happened. It has sent us in to couples counseling after many years (we have been married for 36 years) and has brought up the old wounds of allowing other family members to dictate to us, as a young couple especially upon the loss of our first (newborn) daughter and some of the family’s coldness toward our loss, how to live and where we should live. As an analytical scientist, I am having a hard time accepting much of what I see by some of the authors of books out there, some of whom do not divulge their credentials (education, etc). These books for family members seem to be more harmful than helpful since they are so anecdotal and appear to be more for selling books rather than being related to research (clinicians are not researchers so to me not so objective and not very valid).
You seem to have a more realistic , honest approach and regardless of whether I do or do not have BPD , I intend to follow your blog. I find it much more open minded, helpful and quite positive, unlike that drivel the above authors have to say. Best wishes
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Wow! Thank you so much for your kind comment! I have a section on Books about BPD which are way more helpful than Randi Kreger’s book. She is not a professional, neither am I, but I am a peer in recovery and think I do have a much more compassionate point of view for BPD sufferers. She basically gets people to diagnose others. Only a professional can do that. The books I recommend are much better, whether you have BPD or just some traits of it. To check out these books, click on the “INFORMATION & REFERENCES” tab, then click on “BOOKS ABOUT BPD”
It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now. (Huge hugs) from me. I hope some of the books I recommend are more helpful for your family to read. I highly recommend “Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder” by Shari Y. Manning, PhD. There are even some helpful DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) exercises in the book. I found it one of the best books out there. Hope this helps.
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