Feeling Alone In The World

actual flute!

One of the biggest symptoms of BPD is a feeling of being alone in the world.  This is very difficult to describe to Non-BPD’s.  They probably feel that way sometimes to an extent, but for us Borderlines, it’s very extreme.  I describe it as feeling like the last of my species about to die out.  Like in the episode of Star Trek:  The Next Generation – Inner Light, where Picard lives an entire life in a short time span – the life of someone whose planet died out a thousand years ago.  (One of my favourite episodes of all time!)

Do you have a big problem with feeling all alone in the world?  How do you cope?  Please comment below.

– Joyce.

P.S.  I don’t feel quite so alone with all of you here.  Thank you so much for being here!  Hugs from me to all of you!

BPD and Feeling “Different”

I feel so different from other people.  Not just a little different, like some people.  Different as in “I’m the last of my species that’s about to die out” different.  I feel so absolutely, positively ALONE.  Alone in the universe.  Like on Star Trek: The Next Generation, when Capt. Picard discovered that “time capsule” from a world that had died out.  That alone.

No one understands.  To feel so alone and misunderstood is HELL!

But then you hear rumours about others like you, and you begin your quest to find them.  You HAVE TO find them.  You are compelled to find them.  You search everywhere and, just as you’re about to give up hope, YOU FIND THEM!

They begin to describe their lives and it sounds exactly the same as what you’ve been going through.  For the first time in your life, SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!  You feel tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks for the first time ever.



Mixed Feelings About my Friends

I don’t know how to feel right now.  There’s so much going on and I don’t know what to think, I don’t know how to feel about certain people.   I feel so hurt and alone and confused.  I don’t usually try to make friends but I’ve gotten kind of close to a couple of people, who something has happened between and I have no idea what.  I would still like to be friends with one of them but I don’t want to feel like I’m betraying the other one, who I never see around anymore, so I can’t ask her about the situation.