I have changed the theme of my blog. It was a wintery scene with trees that looked like Christmas trees, and all white and snowy. I wanted something new for Spring. I think you’ll like it. If you click on the heart icon, it’ll take you to my other links. Check ’em out! Tell me what you think. I’m anxious to hear from you. Thanks,
Posted in Editorials
Tagged blog, theme
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Today is this blog’s second anniversary! I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for two years now. I’ve seen such a change in my life, my writing and my relationships. It’s been very up and down at times. My relationship with my mother-in-law has really improved. She understands me so much since we had a talk about my disorder. Our daughter is a different story. So much has happened with her. I wish things would get better. My son needs help but he won’t talk to anyone. My husband needs to see a counsellor but he won’t. I’m the only one in the family who is seeing someone. Oh well, all I can do is take care of myself. It’s so hard at times though!
So many things have affected the tone of this blog – the weather, my moods, life circumstances. That’s life, I guess. Also my meds, which are changing very soon. We’ll see if there’s a change in my writing from that.
Thanks to everyone who follows this blog. I hope to continue blogging for another two years or more. Thanks for being here for me. I hope we can continue to support each other.
In only one month, it will be one year since I started this blog. I hope I have helped some of you. I will try to blog more often this year. I’ve learned quite a bit over the last year about blogging, myself, BPD and more. I hope I have educated you somewhat as well.
If there is anything you’d like to see, let me know and I will do my best to try to bring it to you. If you have any questions to ask, ask away. I can’t promise that I’ll know all the answers but I’ll do my best to provide what I can.
I’m still finding my voice. It gets a little bit stronger every day.
Thank you for joining me in my journey through recovery.
My mom and dad’s neighbour is so nice. She took my sister to the hospital at 2 am a while ago when my dad had to go by ambulance. But something she did on Saturday really got to me BIG TIME.
My daughter and I ran into her at the store and got talking to her for a couple of minutes. My dad has inoperable cancer. She asked me how my dad was doing, and then she said, “Not so good, eh?” Then she told me how his stomach was bulging out from the cancer. I haven’t seen him for a couple of weeks. I don’t drive. My dad didn’t feel up to having company lately. He has his bad and not-so-bad days. His neighbour asked me, out of the blue, if my mom and sister were gonna move into town (after my dad passed away). I was so caught off guard, I was speechless for a moment, and then I said “I don’t know.” I tried to act as nonchalant as possible for my daughter, but inside I was anxious as hell. I’m kind of shaking right now just thinking about it. My hear is racing like a thoroughbred on steroids.
I try to distract myself as much as possible from the inevitable, by writing this blog and keeping my mind busy. My husband and mother-in-law think I should be doing other things, that “There’s more important stuff to do around here” like this is just some “cute little hobby”. What they don’t realize that this is keeping me as sane as possible under the circumstances. But then I do feel guilty, like I should be getting stuff done around here. I am so fatigued! I’ve been like this for years. I’ve had tests for everything, and they say it’s “just depression”. I wish I could have more energy to deal with this, and with life in general.
Posted in Editorials
Tagged anxiety, blog, cancer, Dad, distract, fatigue, guilt, inoperable cancer, mother-in-law, neighbours, out of the blue, racing heart, thoughts