A New Year’s Update

Sorry I haven’t written in so long but I have been either busy or fighting fatigue.  I got my Christmas shopping done just in time.  Our son liked all of his presents.  I called the credit counselling people and I have an appointment with them on the 20th.  I also see my counsellor on that day at the same time.  Hopefully, she can come with me for moral support.

My brother’s birthday was the day after Christmas.  I was wondering how it would go.  I visited my parents and sister and they were fine, considering.  They liked the presents I gave them.  They were all homemade, except one.  I gave them a cookbook, which the money goes to charity; a knitted hand towel and dishcloth set; a DVD which I made for them; and a colouring book I made for my sister with pictures of my kids to colour.  I think she really liked it.  Her counsellor recommended that she do some colouring to help her relax.

I hope everyone has a great New Year’s Day and a great New Year.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

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Merry Christmas!

From last year.  Thought I would share this again:

Our Cheque Is In!

It’s 4:43 in the morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep so I decided to check online and see if our money was deposited into our account.  It was!  I’m so glad!  My nerves were bothering me so bad about it.  Now I just have to call the credit counselling people.  My nerves are bad enough about that!  I have major social anxiety around the phone.  Especially having to call people about my credit cards!  I’ll let you know how I do.

Just wanted to let you all know that, financially, all is well.  Well, as well as it can be for now.  I can finally do my last-minute Christmas shopping for our kids now!  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Cheques In Tomorrow?

My daughter and her boyfriend popped into the Peer Support Centre for a few minutes today.  Her boyfriend said that the ODSP cheques should be in tomorrow.  I hope so!  I’m sure that they’re usually in on the Monday before Christmas.  This year I guess they’re in just a few days before Christmas.  That makes it awfully hard to go Christmas shopping when you don’t get your cheque until the last minute!  Oh well!  We’ll make sure our son gets some of the things he’s asking for for Christmas.  We always do.  Usually we can get assistance for toys for him.  But last year was the last year he was eligible.  It’s only up to age 12 and he’s 13 this year.  He’ll have a good Christmas anyways.

He wants to have a Christmas Eve party, playing board games and having chips and stuff.  We probably will.  I’ve invited our daughter and her boyfriend for Christmas dinner this year.  At least I shouldn’t be eating alone as I usually do.  My husband and son always fix their plates and go to their respective rooms:  my son to his bedroom and my hubby to his music room.  The only thing that’s different from any other day is that we have turkey and all the trimmings.

I’ll let you know if our cheque comes in tomorrow.  Then I’ll be Christmas shopping.  Thanks for listening to me rant / whine.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

No Cheque This Christmas!

We were supposed to have our cheque for January direct-deposited into our account today.  We have not received it.  I was supposed to go Christmas shopping today.  My nerves are so shot!  Why did we not get our cheque?  Did they take it because I haven’t paid off our credit card yet?  Can they do that?  It’s Christmas!

I’ll have to contact ODSP and find out why the oversight.  And figure out what we’re gonna do for money right now.  I have a few dollars saved up.  that’ll have to do us for now.  I get a gift card for the grocery store today.  We signed up for that weeks ago.  At least we’ll have food this Christmas.  I still have to get some presents for our son, which I was waiting on this cheque for.

I’m sure we’ll be all right somehow.  We always are.  Something good will happen.  I’m not really a religious person, but right now I’m praying for something to happen.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Daugther Does Drop-In and Hubby’s Holiday Surprise

Today my daughter met me at the Peer Support Centre.  We coloured some Christmas pictures to decorate the Centre.  Then she had lunch with me there.  We had Taco Bake.  It was delicious!

After lunch, she asked me if I would go with her to a Drop-In for pregnant moms.  I’ve been trying to get her to go for weeks now.  I said Yes.  I’m so glad we went!  We met some nice people there.  You are eligible for this program while you are pregnant and until the baby is 6 months old.  You get free transportation, free groceries, handouts, free childcare, free prenatal vitamins.  They make a healthy recipe while you’re there, that you get to take home with you.  They made Sloppy Joes today.  She got to take the leftovers home.  She got a cookbook, a pregnancy workout DVD and more handouts.  Cool!  Next week is their last week before the holidays.  Maybe her boyfriend will go with her next time.  I told her that anytime she wants me to go with her, just ask.  She knows where I usually am in the afternoons – at the Peer Support Centre.

In other news, when I got home today, my husband had put up our Christmas tree and it’s already got the lights on it!  He said that our son and I could decorate it.  We put a few decorations on it tonight.  We’ll finish it tomorrow.

I don’t think we’re gonna get any snow for Christmas this year.  oh well.  It’s so nice and mild for December!  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Tracing the rainbow through the Rain: I Spent Christmas on my Own – By Choice

Tracing the rainbow through the Rain: I Spent Christmas on my Own – By Choice.

Merry Christmas!

Tracing the rainbow through the Rain: My Christmas Self Soothe Habits

Tracing the rainbow through the Rain: My Christmas Self Soothe Habits.

A Christmas Message for 2014 from Make BPD Stigma-Free

Looking for Positive “Christmas with BPD” Stories

I have just been looking for some stories about Christmas with Borderline Personality Disorder, and all I can find are negative articles, blog posts and forum comments.  I know there must be some positive experiences of Christmas with BPD out there.  If you have one and would like to share it, please comment below.  Or, if you wish to remain anonymous, use the Contact Form tab at the top of the page.  I can’t wait to hear some positive stories!  Thanks for sharing,

– Joyce.

HealingFromBPD.org – Borderline Personality Disorder Blog: When The Holidays are Triggering Free Webinar

HealingFromBPD.org – Borderline Personality Disorder Blog: When The Holidays are Triggering Free Webinar.

Christmas will be hard this year

Well, Christmas is coming up next month.  It’s going to be so different this year with my daughter not here.  It’s also the tenth anniversary of events which led up to my being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.  Horrible events!  It’s not going to be the most fun Christmas ever.  I’m expecting it to be very depressing.  I’m going to try my hardest to not make it depressing for everybody.  We don’t even eat Christmas dinner together.  Everyone just grabs a plate and scatters to their respective rooms in front of their screens and eats.  Yay!  (sarcasm)

I usually love the Christmas season:  Christmas carols playing, all the delicious foods, beautiful scenery.  It’ll be so different this year.  I have such mixed feelings about it.  I have to start getting ready but we don’t even have any money for presents this year.  I’ll have to scrounge some up somehow.  I’ll have to take some out of our bills and grocery money, which we are already so behind in our bills.  And we have already used up all the overdraft in our account, and we still have a week to go until we get paid our Baby Bonus.  Fun! (sarcasm again)

At least we can sign up for assistance and get a gift card for a few groceries through ODSP.  We just have to bring everyone in the family’s ID, and copies of our bills, and our Statement of Assistance.  That’ll come in handy.  It probably still won’t be enough this year.  My nerves get so bad just thinking about it.  I just want to give my son a good Christmas.  We usually have good Christmases.  We can also sign up to receive a few presents for our son.  They’re eligible until their 13, and he’s 12 this year, so it’s the last year that he is eligible.  Might as well take advantage of it.  Might as well take advantage of anything that’s available to us I say.  That’s what it’s there for.  And we can really use it, especially this year!

Thanks for listening to my ramble,

– Joyce.

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Friends – New and Old

My daughter gave me a makeover a little while ago.  When I went to the Peer Support Centre, I got a lot of compliments on it.  Today, a friend at the Centre gave me a gift bag.  One of the items inside was some make-up.  I’d like to try taking better care of myself, if I can find the energy somehow.

I used to have pierced ears but I haven’t worn earrings for a few years and they’ve healed over on me.  I need to get them done again as soon as possible so I can start wearing earrings again.  I love wearing big dangly ones.  They make me feel so glamorous.  I love to feel like Marilyn Monroe!

There were also some hairbands in the gift bag my friend gave me.  I need to wash my hair more often.  I need to pick up some bubble bath and scented candles so I can have a bit more incentive to take care of me better.

Someday, I’ll have clean hair, my new hairband in my hair, make-up on, earrings in.  I’ll feel so good about myself.  All I need is some energy to start.  Which I’ve been waiting for for years.  I try so hard to do all the right things – walking, taking my meds, etc.  Nothing ever works.

A few years ago, I lost some weight and felt so good about myself.  Then my friend left town without telling me.  Can you say abandonment?  This was at Christmas.  I cried for weeks.  My husband said that I ruined Christmas.  I never realized that that’s what it was about until earlier this year.  It just hit me.  I’ve learned so much about myself this past year.

I’m hoping to accomplish some “taking care of me” stuff this weekend.  It’s supposed to storm all weekend so I might as well.  Wish me luck,

– Joyce.

Emotionally Sensitive & The Holidays

Another excellent video by Debbie Corso from HealingFromBPD.org (audio only):

Wishing You Peace On Earth

Have Yourself A Skillful Little Christmas

Debbie Corso of HealingFromBPD.org hosts this video from last Christmas Eve:

New Theme!

In honour of Christmas approaching before we know it (one month from tomorrow is Christmas Eve), “Make BPD Stigma-Free” is going from black-and-white to red-and-green!

And now, just for you, here is a little something to help you celebrate:

My Zazzle Store Christmas Card Ad

What are some of the Christmas products available at my Zazzle Store?  Watch this short video ad and find out!  Order early so you have time to give them out.  Maybe include some information on BPD with your gift.  😉

*NEW* Seasonal Products at my Zazzle Store!

Have you checked out my Zazzle Store yet?  There’s a cool Halloween card, and lots of Christmas cards, plus some beautiful ornaments.  Order early to send your cards out on time!  How about including some information on BPD with your card?

Rudolph Christmas Card by MakeBPDStigmaFree
View other Borderlinepersonalitydisorder Cards

Oh, cheer up, it’s Christmas!!