Tag Archives: exhaustion

Sleepless and still in Pain


I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep all night because of my stupid arm!  I’m so tired and frustrated!  All I want is sleep!  But since I can’t, I’ll try to do some writing, then probably go to the Peer Support Centre.  Today is Women’s Group.  I try to never miss it.  I know what I’ll be talking about.  Maybe send some positive vibes my way if you can.  Thanks in advance!

Painfully exhaustedly yours,

– Joyce.

Abilify and My Sleeping Patterns


Since I’ve been on the increased dosage of Abilify, I’ve been sleeping a lot, not all at once.  I’ve been resting as needed.  I felt tired all the time before, but not sleepy.  I don’t usually remember dreaming anything.  Since my increased dose, I am dreaming more.  I can’t remember everything I dream, but I remember a few bits and pieces here and there.  I don’t know if this is a good thing or not.  I’ve heard that in REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep, is when you dream and that’s when you solve problems of the day.

I don’t know if I should continue resting as needed or not.  I’m just going with it for now.  Maybe it’ll help me get better.  I think I’ve heard that in Deep Sleep you’re not dreaming, that that’s when your body repairs itself.

What do you think?  Does anyone else here have trouble sleeping?  Do you find the topic of sleep and the brain fascinating?  Please comment below:

My Talk with my Counsellor and my Mother-in-Law


Last Tuesday, I met with my counsellor and my mother-in-law to try to help her understand my BPD.  We had a very good talk and I think she’s finally beginning to understand it a bit more.  I tried to explain to her how she was unintentionally invalidating me constantly.  She told me that she wasn’t saying anything bad to me.  I explained to her that it doesn’t matter what she says or how she says it, that to someone with BPD, especially with me, it always feels like criticising and that I’m not good enough.  She asked what she could do to make it better and I told her “nothing.  Just do your own thing.  You can’t make this go away.  I’m the only one who can help me.”  She got a look on her face like she finally “got it.”  Also kind of sad for me.

My counsellor thought that I was very articulate, and told my mother-in-law that I’m doing everything I need to be doing to keep myself as well as I can be.  I’m seeing both of them again this Tuesday.  It’s good practice for me for running a group or presentation on BPD to educate people on the disorder.  I’m learning more about myself every day.

I was so exhausted afterwards that I had to lay down for an hour.  People don’t realize how exhausting it is for those of us with BPD just managing our emotions every day.  It just comes to them naturally.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes Tuesday.  Till then,

Joyce.

The Spoon Theory


English: Spoon

English: Spoon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

by Christine Miserandino.  A great way of describing what it’s like to live with chronic, debilitating pain, disability or illness.  I can relate to the fatigue part.  I’ve had it for several years.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/