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Learn how to tap into the positive and manage the negative.
I HATE WINTER! I hate it with a passion! It’s my least favourite season of all. I hate all the freezing to death, bundling up any time you want to go anywhere, the snowbanks, the ice, the wind chills, the blizzards, etc, etc. I’ve been stuck in the house all week long because of this stupid weather.
I’m in such a rut. I’m so out of shape, fatigued, depressed because I’m too out of shape to do anything. Just thinking about things gets me so overwhelmed. I’ve tried doing some different things to break out of this rut, and it’s not working. I hate hearing the wind howling at the windows all the time, especially when I’m trying to sleep. There’s another thing – sleep, what is that anyways? Something that eludes me as much as possible every night. Taunting me. I get so overwhelmed by everything that I have to lay down for half of the afternoon.
I wish it was Spring. Then at least I could enjoy going for a walk every day without freezing to death. Maybe instead of concentrating on walking as much as possible this year, I should concentrate on toning up. I’ve tried it a few times, but it’s just not working like it used to.
I’ve never been this out of shape in my entire life. Not even when I was nine months pregnant with my son, almost twelve years ago. I’m 5’2″ and I weigh about 195 lbs! I hate it so much!
I usually try to keep this blog as positive as possible but I’m not feeling very positive at the moment. I also try to keep it real. These are my thoughts and feelings for months now. I really needed to vent. Can anyone relate?
Only two-and-a-half weeks until my birthday, but that’s another post. Hope you had a good Christmas and that your winter is going better than mine,
Great video from Teresa Lynne of Essence Happens about avoiding unhealthy books and websites about BPD:
I’ve had a very difficult weekend with our daughter. She had a temper tantrum because I wouldn’t give her any money. She did her usual behaviours, which she hasn’t for a while. Things were getting better – so I thought. My nerves were very raw all day. I cried my eyes out that afternoon, and went for a quick walk. I didn’t feel a lot better but I felt slightly better later. I waited until I got tired enough that I could try going to sleep. The next day was my DBT skills group. I couldn’t wait to get out of here. I went for a walk with my husband and son earlier that evening. I’m so out of shape! I wish I wasn’t.
We’ve been having problems with her and money. She keeps asking for money. We give her some, then she asks for more. We have to figure out an allowance for her. We can’t really afford it. We’ve tried in the past to be fair, and it hasn’t worked. She always wants more, and used to throw a temper tantrum if we didn’t give it to her.
We’ve also had problems with her curfew. She called us at 11:00 pm last night to say that she was staying at her friend’s for the night. We’ve told her to call before then so that we don’t worry. Then we heard banging on the door at 1:00 this morning. It was her with a different friend. They went to her room, giggling and talking loudly for a few minutes, then her friend left and our daughter stayed in her room. Then I had to get our son up for school, who was grouchy as usual. He just made it to the bus, as usual.
Life is so exhausting!