Tag Archives: roller coaster

Emotions are not just black and white …


fed up of the crazy

People like me struggle with regulating emotions, it is like being on a roller coaster you can not stop.  People around you get wip lash from the swing and they often complain … but then fail to fully comprehend the internal chaos that I am going through.

For me, emotion is/was either neutral – not being happy or sad, to overpowering crazy anger that was unstoppable.  My internal chaos meant that I would bottle things up and get angry at something some one did or said, until I would explode at my husband sometimes without warning.

From normal me, to super bitch me in 5 seconds is not that easy to keep up with.

Once you are stuck in emotion mind, the intense anger would spiral.  I would use that as a way to make myself feel guilty, and worthless and so I would get even more angry.  I would…

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If Life is a Rollercoaster then BPD is a Pinball Machine!


S.L.Grigg - Author

Playfield of High Speed pinball machine

You know the old saying and interpretation of life as a rollercoaster. Up’s and Down’s, twists and turns are all part of life for every single one of us. But when you have BPD that old analogy just doesn’t seem to cut it, it doesn’t go deep enough to explain the extra, added difficulties of navigating those ‘normal’ rollercoaster emotions as there is just so much MORE we experience and suffer that goes so far beyond the normal rollercoaster – well I have finally found the answer, well my other half gave me the answer. After another rough day/night of BPD hell he said I was like a pinball machine…

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