Tag Archives: Validation

“Validation: Making Sense of the Emotional Turmoil in Borderline Personality Disorder” | McLean Hospital

Hosted by Gillian C. Galen, PsyD, Program Director, 3East Intensive and Step-Down Residential Programs Dr. Galen will review the critically important skill of validation. She will discuss the ways in which you can either begin or continue to practice the skill of validation with those in your life particularly those diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Source: “Validation: Making Sense of the Emotional Turmoil in Borderline Personality Disorder” | McLean Hospital

4 Ways to Validate Yourself | World of Psychology

“I put in a request for my annual review three weeks ago,” a friend told me. “I’ve reminded my supervisor about it, but she still hasn’t scheduled it.” It’s bad enough to worry about whether or not you’ll get a raise or a promotion, but now my friend is left feeling like she doesn’t even matter. Work for her has meant lots of unexpected travel and many weekends on the job. None of these were part of her job description, and yet… Now those late nights at the office and weekends spent traveling to meet with clients is going to be more difficult than it was in the past. All that time spent away from friends and family — now she feels her sacrifice means very little to her higher-ups. With job insecurity as high as it is, you’d think we’d start teaching millennials self-validation in school. Why self-validation? Because there’s no guarantee you’ll find it anywhere else. Many people work hard but that isn’t always reflected in how they are regarded or paid. Underemployment was at nearly 14

Source: 4 Ways to Validate Yourself | World of Psychology

Beginner’s Guide for Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (Using Validation – BREAKAWAY MHE


The Importance of Validation in Borderline Personality Disorder – BREAKAWAY MHE

If I had my wish as a therapist and person who has struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder, it would be that everyone in the world would develop a better understanding of validation. I wish to make such “a big deal” on this matter because of the way …

Source: The Importance of Validation in Borderline Personality Disorder – BREAKAWAY MHE

5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System

If you’re looking to increase your capacity for self-soothing to depend less on validation from others, you may find these ideas helpful.

Source: 5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System

How to Talk about Emotions: Use Your Words Not Your Behavior | Anger Management

Source: How to Talk about Emotions: Use Your Words Not Your Behavior | Anger Management

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Validation Strategies for Parents | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Validation Strategies for Parents | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood.

Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance | Psychology Today

Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance | Psychology Today.

Fight the stigma associated with BPD!: She has Borderline Personality Disorder

Fight the stigma associated with BPD!: She has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Validation Validation Validation | Childhood Emotional Neglect

Validation Validation Validation | Childhood Emotional Neglect.

The Validation Dialogues by Teresa Lynne

Please don’t fix me – Musings of the Misguided

Please don’t fix me – Musings of the Misguided.



Do you want to be cheered up when you’re depressed?

When you’re depressed, do you want people to say things to try cheering you up?  Or does that make you feel invalidated?  Sometimes it can feel like they don’t understand the depth of what you’re going through.  Like, if they knew how bad you felt they’d know you needed validation and not just cheering up.  I need to feel validated when I’m really down.

Does it work for you when they try cheering you up?  Does it work sometimes but not others?  What works for you?  Please let us know in the comments below:

Being Emotionally Sensitive, BPD and Validation

What is Validation and Why Do I Need to Know? | The Emotionally Sensitive Person

What is Validation and Why Do I Need to Know? | The Emotionally Sensitive Person.

Understanding Validation in Families

Validation Posts

Today in Group, we discussed the importance of Validation to those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder.  If you are a highly sensitive person and grow up in an invalidating environment, you are at risk for developing BPD.  Here are my posts about Validation:


Validation | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center

Validation | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center.

BPD – How Can You Help? – Expatlog | Expatlog

BPD – How Can You Help? – Expatlog | Expatlog.

I Hate Borderline Personality Disorder! – You, Me, and BPD

Open letter to BPD itself from a Non-BPD, in support of a loved one:

I Hate Borderline Personality Disorder! – You, Me, and BPD.

Using Validation to Help Mange Emotions | Southeast Psych

Using Validation to Help Mange Emotions | Southeast Psych.



What do you think of this site and my blog?  What about links to this site on FaceBook, etc?  Is there anything that you especially like or would like to see more of?  Are there any blog posts or articles which particularly spoke to you?

Am I making a difference to anyone out there?  Letting you know that you’re not alone, and that others experience the same things that you do?  Are there any thought-provoking items?  Any things that you’ve found on this site that you haven’t found anywhere else?

I run this site for myself as well, for my own mental well-being.  I am hoping to not feel so alone as well.  I have received a few comments, but am always curious as to what others think.  What are your experiences with Borderline Personality Disorder?  Do you encounter stigma?  Or do you keep your diagnosis to yourself?  Are others understanding of it, or do they have misconceptions about it?  Do you get any validation of your feelings, or are you totally invalidated by everyone, all the time?  Do you do anything to try to raise awareness and reduce the stigma of BPD?  What symptoms do you have (if you are comfortable sharing them)?  Have you had any success?

Where are you in your journey to recovery?  Have you just been diagnosed and are beginning your journey?  Or are you now in recovery and have some advice for people who are just beginning theirs?

I look forward to hearing any comments.


My Talk with my Counsellor and my Mother-in-Law

Last Tuesday, I met with my counsellor and my mother-in-law to try to help her understand my BPD.  We had a very good talk and I think she’s finally beginning to understand it a bit more.  I tried to explain to her how she was unintentionally invalidating me constantly.  She told me that she wasn’t saying anything bad to me.  I explained to her that it doesn’t matter what she says or how she says it, that to someone with BPD, especially with me, it always feels like criticising and that I’m not good enough.  She asked what she could do to make it better and I told her “nothing.  Just do your own thing.  You can’t make this go away.  I’m the only one who can help me.”  She got a look on her face like she finally “got it.”  Also kind of sad for me.

My counsellor thought that I was very articulate, and told my mother-in-law that I’m doing everything I need to be doing to keep myself as well as I can be.  I’m seeing both of them again this Tuesday.  It’s good practice for me for running a group or presentation on BPD to educate people on the disorder.  I’m learning more about myself every day.

I was so exhausted afterwards that I had to lay down for an hour.  People don’t realize how exhausting it is for those of us with BPD just managing our emotions every day.  It just comes to them naturally.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes Tuesday.  Till then,


Listen to Me!

Do you ever feel not listened to?  I have ever since I was a kid.  I’m always treated like a two-year-old by my husband and mother-in-law.  I always feel like it’s amazing I’m alive today because I must be the stupidest person on Earth.  Too dumb to live.  Dumber than dirt.  Like if it was raining outside, I’d been to dumb to come in out of the rain, and I’d catch pneumonia and die.

I need validation and understanding, especially from my mother-in-law.  But she keeps doing the same things over and over, even though I’ve told her a million times that it makes me feel worse instead of better.  I don’t need to be reminded of every little thing I need to do every minute of the day.  I just get overwhelmed and paralyzed.  My brain stops working logically.  I have to distract myself to feel better.  Then I’m not getting anything done around the house.  Then I get told I’m not doing anything around here.  If she would just listen to me, this vicious circle could be avoided.  I guess she would rather be right than to have me do anything around here, or else she would stop.

All she sees is me sitting at the computer all day, every day.  Or else I go to the peer support centre downtown for the morning and afternoon, to get a break from her.  Which usually helps a little bit.  Until I get home.  Then I have to listen to it all over again.  She doesn’t see what goes on in my head.

I dread getting up in the morning, knowing I’m gonna have to deal with my son and daughter, and my mother-in-law.  I dread getting home from the peer support centre or my parents’ house, because I know it’s back to the same old thing, all over again.  And she wonders why I feel so bad all the time, and why I can never get anything done around here.

She keeps saying that maybe I need a new therapist or a new medication.  No, I just need her to LEAVE ME ALONE!  If she’d do that, I’d feel a lot better.


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