First “Angelversary” for my Brother

On Tuesday, it was exactly one year ago that my brother passed away.  For some reason, I keep feeling angry when I think about it.  I’m trying to work through my feelings the best that I can.  I’m angry that he left us too soon.  I’m angry that he didn’t have to leave us.  I’m angry that he’ll never get to be a great-uncle.

I’m hoping that, eventually, I’ll get through my anger and feel whatever other feelings that come up.  Thanks for listening to me vent.  I really need it right now.  I think if I let it out, maybe I can get to my other feelings.

My parents and sister are handling this anniversary very well.  I wasn’t sure if they would or not.  I’m glad that they’re managing okay and that I don’t have to worry about them too much.  My sister has had problems ever since our brother passed away, but she’s doing as well as can be expected.

Try to keep cool.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Observing your feelings.

Lucky Otter's Haven


When you hear the term mindfulness, what that means is to quietly observe your own emotions, not judging or denying them, but just accepting that they exist.     This includes observing the way an emotion makes you feel physically or where it seems to reside in your body.    When you quietly observe your feelings this way, by default that keeps you in the present and you are not likely to act out impulsively on an emotion.    It’s central to mindfulness therapies like DBT.

I feel very anxious today.  I don’t know what’s causing it but that doesn’t matter.  Probably nothing is causing it; it’s just free floating anxiety.    In the past I might have drank too much, snarled and snapped at people to relieve the stress, or just suffered.  I might have told myself I was being stupid and to snap out of it, mirroring…

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Breaking Down BPD


According to the American     Psychological Association, the prevalence rate of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in the general population is approximately 1-2% of lifetime occurrence.  So no worries, we are not alone😉.a9a0fb9e-6e03-4b8a-bf25-a04fa3c497b5

So I was able to do the impossible, find my lost blog posts. Before I re-post this one, I would like to add that I have been practicing as a mental health clinician again, and many of my clients have been curious to learn about their diagnoses.  Interestingly enough, when asked about if learning and understanding more of the disorder helped, they all said yes.  One specifically stated “I don’t feel like I’m crazy anymore, knowing that other people feel how I do, it makes me feel normal.” I still of course can only speak for myself when I say learning about Borderline Personality Disorder, educating myself on it and understanding it has been a tremendous help…

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Psychotic-like experiences in Borderline Personality Disorder – Call For Participants

Source: Psychotic-like experiences in Borderline Personality Disorder – Call For Participants

What Are Your Core Beliefs and Why Are They So Important to Uncover? ⋆ LonerWolf

I was told in DBT that my core belief was “I’m not good enough.”  I had never noticed it before because it was always there.  — Joyce.


Often we are completely unaware of what our core beliefs are and how they perpetuate our misery. Discover what your core beliefs are in this article.

Source: What Are Your Core Beliefs and Why Are They So Important to Uncover? ⋆ LonerWolf

14 Inspirational Quotes From Brene Brown | Happily Imperfect

Source: 14 Inspirational Quotes From Brene Brown | Happily Imperfect

New Flowers for My Brother

headstone 2 On the 26th of this month, it’ll be exactly one year since my brother passed away.  On Sunday, I went with my parents and sister to his grave and put some new flowers on it.  There is also a cross that glows in the dark.  My sister thought that would be a nice touch.  I think it’s an interesting idea.  It still feels almost as though my brother could walk through the door of my parents’ house any time.  It’s starting to sink in that he’s not coming back.  I was wondering how my parents and sister would handle going to his grave now.  Anniversaries can be very hard for some people, but they’re handling it really well.  My sister has trouble with nightmares and PTSD.  But she’s doing very well right now.  I’ve been reading a lot about sibling loss and it helps to know what others are going through.

I hope everyone is having a good summer.  Try to keep cool!  Until next time,

— Joyce.

The Disconnect

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

Dissociation is getting the better of me again. I will try and put my experience into words.

Dissociation is experienced as a sort of disconnect or detachment from reality that can manifest in a number of ways. Ways I often describe it, based on my on experience,include:

  • “Spacey”
  • “Out of it”
  • “Loopy”
  • “In a daze”
  • “My brain isn’t working”

There are different types and levels of dissociation although they can also overlap and change over time. For example, sometimes I dissociate so badly in therapy that I literally cannot see, talk or move – and may go into a panic attack – and need the help of my therapist to bring me back to reality. For me, this is at the rarer end of the spectrum occurring far less often. The more frequent experiences I have of dissociation are what I refer to as a consistent but more “low-level” dissociation…

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Two Groups in One Day – Done!

This morning, I was picked up and went to do my first out-of-town group.  There were only three of us there.  I was a little disappointed at the turnout.  The second Centre I went to was better.  It was a smaller centre, but there were a few more people in the group.  Then really seemed interested in what I had to say.  They want me to come back next month, so we’ve booked a date to come back.  I think it went pretty well.  I can’t wait to go back there.  There were a few of us with BPD.  It’s good to have a few people with it in the group because not everyone will have the same traits, and I can only speak from my own experience.

They’ve been calling for rain for days now, and it finally rained a bit today.  I hope it breaks up the humidity!

My foot’s feeling a little better today.  I hope everyone is doing well today.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Effect of Childhood Trauma on the Limbic System

A very interesting article:

Effect Of Childhood Trauma On The Limbic System

Running Two Groups In One Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow morning, I will be picked up to do an out-of-town BPD Group.  Then, after lunch, I will be running another out-of-town group!  I’ve never done two groups in one day before.  I’m so nervous but excited!  I’ve put a Calendar of Events in my newsletter I’ve started, with the dates of where and when I’m going to be doing my groups.  I hope it will encourage more people to join!

This month marks the first anniversary of my brother’s passing away.  I’m not sure how my parents and sister are going to handle it.  They seem to be doing fine with it at the moment.  I still can’t believe he’s gone.  It almost feels like he could still walk in the door of my parents’ house any time.

This past weekend, I went for a bike ride with my son.  Unfortunately, I turned a corner too sharply and fell off my bike, hurting my left foot.  It’s okay as long as I only step on my heel and the inside of it.  I’ve been trying to walk mostly on my right foot and avoid stepping on the outside of my left foot.  It’s exhausting walking to the Peer Support Centre every day, but I can’t stand just being home.  So I hobble down the street and back.  It gets a little better every day.  I can’t wait until it stops hurting though!

I hope you are all having a wonderful summer.  Try to stay cool!  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Healing From BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder Blog: Borderline Personality Disorder: Is there hope?

Source: Healing From BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder Blog: Borderline Personality Disorder: Is there hope?

Emotions, Logic, and Wise Mind | The Emotionally Sensitive Person

Source: Emotions, Logic, and Wise Mind | The Emotionally Sensitive Person

21 Things People With Borderline Personality Disorder Wish Their Friends Understood – Health Details

The very nature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) can make relationships difficult to manage. Symptoms include unstable personal relationships and efforts to avoid being abandoned, coupled w…

Source: 21 Things People With Borderline Personality Disorder Wish Their Friends Understood – Health Details

A DBT ‘Pros and Cons’ Example

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

Off the back of this post here,and the continual angst it has been causing me, I decided to call the substituteskills coach for her advice. She does not know me as well as my therapist, and I did not want to delve into it with her. But I gave her the facts and the pros and cons discussed in the previous post, and we decided together that it would be best for me to not go to the research team meeting.

She then asked me to use the DBTskill of writing aPros and Conslist to inform ournext steps – weighing up whether I express my needs to my supervisor transparently or not.

Here it is:

Pros of being transparent with supervisor:
• Acting opposite to shame will give my brain the message that shame isn’t justified (even if I don’t believe that that’s true)
• She…

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4 Ways to Validate Yourself | World of Psychology

“I put in a request for my annual review three weeks ago,” a friend told me. “I’ve reminded my supervisor about it, but she still hasn’t scheduled it.” It’s bad enough to worry about whether or not you’ll get a raise or a promotion, but now my friend is left feeling like she doesn’t even matter. Work for her has meant lots of unexpected travel and many weekends on the job. None of these were part of her job description, and yet… Now those late nights at the office and weekends spent traveling to meet with clients is going to be more difficult than it was in the past. All that time spent away from friends and family — now she feels her sacrifice means very little to her higher-ups. With job insecurity as high as it is, you’d think we’d start teaching millennials self-validation in school. Why self-validation? Because there’s no guarantee you’ll find it anywhere else. Many people work hard but that isn’t always reflected in how they are regarded or paid. Underemployment was at nearly 14

Source: 4 Ways to Validate Yourself | World of Psychology

Biosocial theory

This borderline life

Hi All,

I’m nearly at the end of my dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) sessions, having spent a year studying the skills manual and practising the skills. So for myself and anyone else who is interested, i am going to write a blog post a week on most of the skills i use and the bits of the book i have found relevant to my recovery.

This week I’m going to talk about the ‘Bio’ bit in the biosocial theory. (I will do a separate post for the social bit) The ‘bio’ bit is the biological part of the theory and the social bit is the social part of the theory. Together they make one of Marsha‘s main theories on why and how some people develop borderline personality disorder.

This theory is explained is on page 14 of the book and is usually one of the first things you will go over when beginning…

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People with IED have connectivity deficits in SLF region of the brain

People with intermittent explosive disorder (IED), or impulsive aggression, have a weakened connection between regions of the brain associated with sensory input, language processing and social interaction.

Source: People with IED have connectivity deficits in SLF region of the brain

How to Live Your Truth Part 3: Translating Your Values Into Goals – Mrs. Mindfulness

“Knowing who you are, and living who you are is the path to mastering mindful living.” – Melli O’Brien This is the third and final blog in a series on ‘how to live your truth and master the art of mindful living.’ In this post, we’ll look at how you can translate your values intoRead More

Source: How to Live Your Truth Part 3: Translating Your Values Into Goals – Mrs. Mindfulness

Borderline Personality Disorder Series Excerpt: The Wobbly Web

Sarah Myles

I write a quarterly series on the subscription website, Channillo, entitled How To Wear Odd Socks. It is an autobiographical story about events that have shaped my mental health, the manifestation of my Borderline Personality Disorder, my diagnosis, and my move towards sustainable recovery. Chapters from various life-stages are interspersed with a practical view of the illness itself, and methods of management.

The latest chapter is now live on the site, and details the key features of Borderline Personality Disorder, comorbid conditions, and the ways in which it all intersects, in a wobbly web of the mind.

Here is an excerpt from that chapter, which hopefully contains some useful information, and provides an idea of what you can find in this series.

In the early days, I could sometimes be heard bemoaning The Tight-Rope Walk – feeling that without intense concentration on my part, to maintain proper…

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Right-Fighting Vs. Choice To Recover

NIMH » Game Corrects Children’s Misreading of Emotional Faces to Tame Irritability

A computer game that changes a tendency to misread ambiguous faces as angry is showing promise as a potential treatment for irritability in children

Source: NIMH » Game Corrects Children’s Misreading of Emotional Faces to Tame Irritability

Nanaimo Support Group!!! | Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Society of British Columbia

This group meets on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of every month.  The location is 3151 Barons Road in Nanaimo.  We start at 7:00pm and go until about 9:00pm. Feel free to drop in. No diagnosis required…

Source: Nanaimo Support Group!!! | Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Society of British Columbia

Coloring Book Update

BPD Survivor

I’ve colored more this weekend when I had the time to. I’ll probably color a lot more with the 3-day weekend as well.

In addition to the coloring more, I bought more coloring books at a local dollar store down the street from me. I’m pretty stoked about that. So I’ll have a bigger variety of what to color also varying in difficulty as what it seems to me as well.

The coloring is helping my stress too and I am feeling happier today.

Below: My coloring books and my coloring pencils.

Below: The updated page of my flowers.

I find coloring to be a new hobby of mine. It’s super fun and helps with stress and anxiety for sure.

I highly recommend this route if you deal with stress and anxiety a lot yourself. It definitely helps relieve those feelings while you’re coloring.

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Training & Workshops – communityNet

News, information and resources for nonprofits.

Source: Training & Workshops – communityNet