My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder – 113 things to say

via My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder – 113 things to say

World Suicide Prevention Day 2018

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.  I’m feeling very lonely and down today, thinking about loved ones that I’ve lost.  I’ve tried to keep busy doing housework.  It’s not helping.  I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day.  I need to get out of this house.  I need to talk to somebody.

Don’t worry; I’ll be fine.  I just needed to vent.  The rest of the week I have things to do.

Please reach out to others who may be struggling.  Reach out yourself if you are struggling.

Sorry for such a depressing post.  I’ll try to post something more positive later.  Till then,

— Joyce.

Don’t Call Me A Monster

With These Wings

I knew I was a monster by the time I was fifteen. Everything had gone bad. I had no understanding of the things I was doing and saying. Neither did anyone around me. Well, the people who knew and that was only my immediate family. I would be too ashamed to admit it to anyone else, even though I desperately needed help.

My parents wanted to help me but had no idea how. They wondered whether this was simply normal teenage stuff. It wasn’t! They should have got me some help. But hindsight is wasted. They didn’t get me help, and it remained a secret. I had become a monster! I was sure!

What followed were major life decisions I quietly made according to my belief that I was a monster. I quickly concluded that I should never be a parent. I couldn’t inflict myself on a child, nor could…

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August 31st Update

I “graduated” from therapy last year.  However, due to recent events in my life, I have started seeing my counsellor again.  I don’t see her every week, but we do keep in touch.  I saw her weekly for a while.

I have seen a resident at my doctor’s office and have had my meds reduced.  I am now taking half a tablet of Abilify instead of a whole one daily.  I am still taking one capsule of Cymbalta daily.  So – 2.5 mg of Abilify and 60 mg of Cymbalta.  My next goal is to go off the Abilify completely and reduce the Cymbalta gradually.

I have had a lot of support from my family and friends during this difficult time in my life. I am very grateful to them!

I am really enjoying being a grandma!  My daughter and I are getting into a bit of a good routine with the baby.  It’s hard to believe she’s two months old now!

That’s all for now.  Have a great weekend and Labour Day, if you celebrate it.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

BPD stigma is ‘most common’ crisis trigger | MHT

via BPD stigma is ‘most common’ crisis trigger | MHT

Please Check Out Project I Am Not Ashamed

Please check out this very important project here:

Tweets by bpdinwaterloo

 

and here:

https://www.facebook.com/projectiamnotashamed/

 

Thank you!

— Joyce.

Project I Am Not Ashamed Local Results

Well, Project I Am Not Ashamed didn’t go quite as well in my area as I had hoped.  We had a few interested people.  I’m hoping to reach more people next year.  Too many things happened in my life this year to make it much of a success.  Oh well, my friends and I are using it for practice for next year.  Bigger and better!

Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

via Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

Self taught Richmond filmmaker shines light on borderline personality disorder – Hammersmith and Fulham news – NewsLocker

via Self taught Richmond filmmaker shines light on borderline personality disorder – Hammersmith and Fulham news – NewsLocker

Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

via Upcoming event aims to stem stigma against mental health | The Gazette

When Negative, Nasty or Limiting Thoughts Arise | Weightless

via When Negative, Nasty or Limiting Thoughts Arise | Weightless

My Relationship Isn’t Doomed Just Because I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

via My Relationship Isn’t Doomed Just Because I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

The Birth of #Project I Am Not Ashamed — AFSP

via The Birth of #Project I Am Not Ashamed — AFSP

New Addition To My Family!

My daughter just had a baby!  She’s a preemie, so she’s very tiny.  We just got to bring her home on Friday.  We’ve been very busy!  I love being a grandma!  I can’t wait to show her off to everybody!  A couple of family members have gotten to see her already.  She’s the cutest little thing ever!  Of course I could be a little biased!

I hope everyone is having a great summer.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Hillsborough: Mental Health Survivor’s Blog Tells It Like It Is – New Brunswick NJ News – TAPinto

via Hillsborough: Mental Health Survivor’s Blog Tells It Like It Is – New Brunswick NJ News – TAPinto

What it’s like to be a mother when you have borderline personality disorder | Metro News

via What it’s like to be a mother when you have borderline personality disorder | Metro News

What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? – The Muddled Mother

via What is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? – The Muddled Mother

Worst Weekend Ever!!!

I had a horrible weekend!  My husband passed away unexpectedly.  My son has been having a very hard time with it.  They were very close.  I’m still in shock.  Everyone says that I’m doing so well dealing with it.  I have no choice.  I have to be strong for my son.  Someday, when he’s doing much better, I’ll probably break down.  Right now, I can’t.  I have to be there for him.  We are making arrangements for a Celebration of Life for him.  I miss him so much!  We just celebrated our 21st anniversary in March.  In a few years, it would have been our 25th anniversary.  We were going to do something special.  We don’t usually do anything because we’re broke.  But we were going to find the money somewhere to do something small.  We deserved it.  Now that will never happen.  Everyone keeps telling me not to dwell on that.  A friend told me that I could still do something special for myself on that day.  It’s going to be so hard!

Please send some positive thoughts to my family and me.  We can really use it right now.  Thank you so much for everyone who is there for me.  It is so appreciated!

Till next time,

— Joyce.

Three Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself Starting Today

via Three Simple Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself Starting Today

Can BPD’s Show Empathic Traits? | Searching For Grey

via Can BPD’s Show Empathic Traits? | Searching For Grey

The differences between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder | Metro News

via The differences between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder | Metro News

10 Commonly Overlooked Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder – Awareness Act

via 10 Commonly Overlooked Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder – Awareness Act

How to Break the Stress Reaction Cycle

via How to Break the Stress Reaction Cycle

Mindfulness, Relaxation Training Both Can Ease Stress But In Different Ways

via Mindfulness, Relaxation Training Both Can Ease Stress But In Different Ways

Clearview Treatment Programs Hosts Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Workshop with Dr. Alec L. Miller, PsyD June 22, 2018 in CA

via Clearview Treatment Programs Hosts Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Workshop with Dr. Alec L. Miller, PsyD June 22, 2018 in CA