I just typed the word “cry” into the Search box of this blog and was very surprised at how many posts came up. I haven’t even been able to cry for over a year now. I don’t know why. Maybe my meds are numbing me out. Or else I’m just doing very well at managing my emotions. But I think it must be my meds. Next month, I have them tweaked. I’ll be taking one Cymbalta in the morning and decreasing the Abilify to one pill instead of two. I hope that helps. I hate feeling so numb when I know that I need to cry sometimes and I can’t.
I also feel unrelenting fatigue. I don’t know whether it’s the weather or my meds or both or something else entirely that’s causing it. I think that it’s both plus something else that I have no idea what it is. I hope that tweaking my meds plus Spring arriving will help with it.
I don’t know why I’m on the dosage I am right now. I think that my shrink put me on it because of “racing thoughts” I remember being frustrated at the time with my life. That’s all I remember. This was last summer, I believe.
I can’t believe there are four pages of posts with some form of the word “cry” in them. For someone who can’t cry, that seems really ironic. I’ll let you know how things go with my meds and my moods after I get my meds tweaked next month. Till then,
I always feel like I should be doing something constructive, but I never have the energy to. I hate it so much! I used to be able to accomplish things and now even the simplest tasks are so exhausting to even think about. I feel guilty doing things that are not constructive, things for myself. I am working on it. The only thing that feels remotely constructive, which I actually have the energy to do, is write this blog. Other than that, I accomplish nothing. I hope that, at least, that’s doing something worthwhile, that it’s reaching people and helping them, making a difference in their lives in some small way.
Does this blog help you at all? What do you find helpful or interesting about it? Please talk to me! Let me know in the Comments below. Thank you!
Originally posted on bpdpiecesofme:
Ask about BPD
Why is it so hard for people to understand what a nightmare BPD is? How it affects your everyday life. With major depression as well. It’s a total nightmare. Given up on psychiatrists, they don’t help and medication doesn’t work. No wonder people self medicate.
Thanks for listening,
Thank you Frustrated,
It can be frustrating to experience the stigma and misunderstand that comes with BPD. As we struggle for wellness we want people to see how far we have come and encourage us to continue on our journey. Unfortunately, some people do not, and will not, understand your battle. They are unable to understand we have a recognized, yet invisible, debilitating disorder.
Inability to Cognitively redefine a person:
When we begin our path to wellness we must understand that others may be unable, or unwilling, to cognitively redefine us. People with BPD often go for years…
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I saw my counsellor yesterday. I told her all about my daughter stealing my camera. She told me that I should lock up all my valuables and watch her closely. It’s too bad that I have to do that with my own daughter. I feel so bad about it. I shouldn’t have to do that. We had a good appointment.
I’m hoping to visit my parents and sister this weekend. My sister just had her gall bladder out. She’s recovering at home. I talked to her on the phone a while ago. She was doing all right, but still in quite a bit of pain. I’d like to get a recipe from my mom to make at the Peer Support Centre someday. A fellow peer said that he could help me make it.
Not too much else to report today. It was drizzly yesterday. At least it’ll get rid of some of the snow. Yay! It’s supposed to be mixed precipitation today. I’ll just be so glad when all of the snow is gone and the grass is green, and the flowers come up, and there’s little buds on the trees.
Thanks for joining me here today. I’ll let you know how my sister is doing later. Ta ta for now,
Originally posted on Mental Break:
Stigma. We hear about it a lot in this day and age. When dealing with mental illness, it can be hard to escape the word. Here is what stigma stands for in my eyes:
- S- Stereotype
- T- Target
- I- Isolation
- G- Guarded
- M- Misunderstanding
- A- Anxiety
Stereotype: When facing stigma, you can bet stereotypes are flying around. For example, people with mental illness are violent or that people with mental illness are not really ill and can “snap” out of it. You see it in the news all the time. People with mental illness are portrayed negatively. Usually when mental illness has a light shining on it, it’s in the news and it has something to do with murder or some other heinous crime.
Target: Walking around with stigma following right behind, makes you an easy target and a scape goat. Many people fear…
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Some excellent posts from the site “Mental Healthy”