Becoming Dialectical – The Biggest Borderline Personality Disorder Challenge – BREAKAWAY MHE

One of the hardest parts of learning to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is to consistently adjust oneself to function more rationally. Another way I explain this to others is the need for becoming more “dialectical” as a person. Becoming more dialectical involves learning to recognize what’s happening with perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and behaviour, …

Source: Becoming Dialectical – The Biggest Borderline Personality Disorder Challenge – BREAKAWAY MHE

New Fridge!

We got a new fridge yesterday!  I like it much better than the old one.  The old one was a side-by-side refrigerator/freezer.  It hardly had any crisper and there was no drawer for the crisper.  It was missing a shelf, we couldn’t use half of the door compartments, and it leaked water.  This one is a regular fridge with the freezer compartment on the top.  It has two crispers and an extra drawer inside, and wide shelves in the door.

After they delivered it, I went grocery shopping because we were out of everything.  I got a little bit of this and that.  There’s so much room in this fridge!  I love it!  In our old fridge, since it was missing a shelf, everything got stacked up on top of each other and forgotten about.  Then we had to throw a bunch of stuff out.  It was so wasteful.  We won’t have that problem with this fridge.

I know it’s just a little thing but sometimes it’s the little things in life that count.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

Sick and Tired Mother and Son!

My son has been home from school with a bad cold for the last week straight.  He keeps raising his voice to me today.  It’s really getting on my nerves.  It doesn’t help that I ran out of my meds yesterday and that I didn’t sleep last night.  I hope he feels better soon, for both our sakes.  If he doesn’t start feeling better soon, I might have to take him to the doctor.  He really doesn’t want to go, but he might need to.

So tired!!!!!!

A New Fridge! (Tomorrow!)

The landlord’s daughter just e-mailed us.  They’ve bought us a new fridge but it can’t be delivered until tomorrow.  So one more day with our small fridge in the laundry room.  We had to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff.  Oh well.  The fridge needed cleaning out anyways.  Tons of condiments with just a tiny bit left in the bottom of the bottle/jar.  Stuff that had been in there way too long and needed to be thrown out anyways, and we just hadn’t gotten around to it.  One of those jobs you never quite get around to doing.

I went to Craft Group this morning.  I sewed some granny squares together.  I’m gonna add them to the afghan I made for my mother-in-law months ago.  I was knitting some hand towels and dish cloths but I’m getting really tired of doing the same thing over and over and over.  I needed a change.  I like crocheting too.

It was so windy today!  All day long, from the time I got up this morning until now.

I ran out of my meds and money yesterday.  I didn’t sleep a wink last night.  I really hope I sleep tonight!  We got paid today and I went to the drugstore and picked up both of my prescriptions so I should be good for another month.  I have an appointment with my psychiatrist later this month.  We’ll have a lot of catching up to do.  I’ll have to give her the news about my brother.  That’ll be a shocker!  I’m still in shock.  I’ve ordered a couple of books about losing a sibling by suicide.  I’ll let you know what they’re like.  I should receive them by the middle of the month, or just after.

Hope we all sleep well tonight.  Thanks for your company.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

distorted thinking

Originally posted on porcelainskin&rosycheeks:

imageIf it’s not black & white, I’m catastrophizing (is that even a word?) the situation…the bane of my existence. What people don’t understand about BPD is that once I have a thought the urge to act moves so quickly from a want to need, that I must do it!

To the outside world it makes me look like a selfish, manipulative drama queen and I’m not, really I’m not. I’m actually pretty sensitive to the people around me and their emotions.

I’m my worst critic but through the skills I have learned through group therapy in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) I have learned to stop and analyze my thoughts. Are they based on fact? What’s the probability of that outcome occurring?

The black and white thinking is tough, it’s hard to learn that two people can both be right in a situation and life is not a competition. For me…

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Lunch A Success!

Today, I made lunch at the Peer Support Centre.  It was a Salmon with Macaroni casserole.  It turned out pretty good!  I had a bit of help from the staff but I made it mostly by myself.  I’m so glad it turned out.  I was so nervous!  I might make it again someday.  The lady who runs the Centre said that it was delicious.

Still no working fridge upstairs.  My hubby and I were talking to my mother-in-law and I guess that the money that would have gone towards some new appliances that we already have here, went towards other things.  So, whenever we move, if they don’t have those appliances, if we don’t have the money for them, we’re screwed.  Basically.  At least the landlord can get us a new fridge, hopefully.

Hope everyone is having a good day.  If not, I hope it gets better soon.  Till next time,

— Joyce.

DBT Skills Group – Distress Tolerance Week 1

Originally posted on Living with Borderline Personality Disorder:

Last Saturday my DBT Skills Group started up again, so I am back posting regular updates about what we are covering on the program! It was the first week of the Distress Tolerance module – the 3rd module out of the 4 we have covered so far.

There were 8 people in the group, a big difference to the mere 2-3 of us who regularly attended the Emotional Regulation module back in August. My anxiety was high due to the new(ish) situation and people, however it was surprisingly more manageable than I had expected it to be – considering that on my first ever week I had a near panic-attack in the bathroom before we had even started. I guess that’s progress right there, and proof that exposure and Opposite Action really can lead to lasting change. (Damn, maybe the therapists really were right all along about that one 😜.)

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Chef Joyce Returns!

Tomorrow, I will be preparing lunch at the Peer Support Centre.  I’ve never done it by myself before.  I’ve helped but this time I’ll be in charge of the menu.  I’m glad I’ll have help from the staff, though.  I’ve never made this dish all by myself before.  I’ve helped my mom make it but that was several years ago.  I hope it turns out all right!

Our fridge is on the fritz.  Thank God we have an extra one in the laundry room.  It’s kind of a pain in the ass to go down there every time we want something out of the fridge.  We need to get someone to help us bring it upstairs.  My hubby can’t do it because he has a bad back.  We’ve called the landlord but, no answer, as usual.  We’re still owed one from the insurance.  They’re supposed to have it in storage somewhere.  They could deliver that one for us and take our old one away.  Either way, we need a working fridge upstairs.

I’ll let you know how lunch goes tomorrow.  Stay tuned!

— Joyce.

What’s the most significant obstacle people face when it comes to being open about mental health?

Originally posted on Paul's letters...:

I’ve been thinking about this question in the days since the conversation on mental health advocacy that came out of the Conquer Worry podcast. This morning I met with my therapist and we were discussing the challenges of mental health advocacy and I talked about how I think one of the best ways to make progress towards more accessible (and acceptable) mental health care is to break down the barriers people have about being open. I know I’m not the first one to use the analogy (nor is this the first time I’ve used it) but I strongly believe people with a mental health issue ought to “come out of the closet”. One of the things that fueled the success of the gay rights movement has been a willingness of people to be open about who they are, to let their relatives, friends, and coworkers understand that at our…

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DBT Skills: Empowering Ourselves Through Skills

Originally posted on Pride in Madness:

I can be Wise :)

My time with DBT Path is almost done :( I have done all the modules and my life is forever changed. Probably the most important lesson I learned from Debbie and Amanda is that having DBT skills is empowering!

When I first entered DBT on my own a few years ago, when I purchased the McKay, Wood and Brantley book, my focus was changing myself. I needed to change to keep my relationship together and it was all about fixing myself for others. I wanted people to be able to tolerate being around me. I admit that I also went into DBT Path with a similar attitude (“I must fix myself”) but I very quickly realized that DBT is about me. DBT is about empowerment. DBT is about me having confidence in myself and my interactions with my world. I hope I am…

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