Joyce

Accepting the edges

In Editorials on October 1, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Originally posted on Life in a Bind - BPD and me:

[Quotes are from 'All of Me' by John Legend]

A couple of months ago I was talking to my therapist about how difficult I was finding the fact that I regularly ‘split her’ into all-good or all-bad. My view of her was constantly changing – one week things were going well and I would adore her, and the next something would happen and I would be full of disappointment and anger towards her. This was a big contrast to my relationship with my ex-therapist, who I idealised and thought of as the ‘perfect therapist’ for the few months that we were in short-term work together.

My therapist made the comment that I was finding it difficult to accept her imperfections and ‘her edges’. This made me smile, as it immediately reminded me of the song ‘All of me’ by John Legend, which I have been listening to a great deal lately.

“Love…

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Psych Appt. and More

In Editorials on September 30, 2014 at 9:38 pm

I saw my psychiatrist today.  Everything went fine.  I told her all about what’s been going on with our daughter lately.  I told her how I’m worried about our son being too shy to do errands for us.  She suggested that me and his grandmother take him shopping to get a few things.  She said it might take twenty times doing that before he gets over his shyness a bit.  I guess we could try it.  We’ve got nothing to lose.

I don’t see my counselor until next week.  I’m doing okay so far.  Especially since I saw the psychiatrist today.  I also have the Peer Support Centre to go to pretty much every day.

Next week there’s a big Recovery Symposium with all of the Peer Support Centres in the area participating.  I’ll be going and sharing my recovery story with everyone.  I’m pretty nervous but also excited.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  Wish me luck!

- Joyce.

BPD: Something We Do To Others?

In Editorials on September 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm

Originally posted on Pride in Madness:

I have noticed this trend for awhile. The trend of describing Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as something we makes others painfully experience and not as something we painfully makes ourselves experience. I know that many of you not diagnosed with BPD will have experiences of others blaming you for the turmoil you cause in their lives but I’m specifically talking about the way mental health professionals and others who discuss BPD describe the disorder. Personality disorders in general appear to get this stigmatizing treatment of little emphasis on our personal suffer and great emphasis on the pain we cause others.

Full blast all day long. And i STRUGGLE being on meds when my emotions aren't turned up full throttle. I feel numb, aloof, unattached

I was searching through Psychology Today yesterday came across a collection of articles entitled, “Is There a Borderline in Your Life?: Managing the Needy Borderline Next Door.” Compare that to the sites stories on:

  • Robin Williams/Depression/Suicide: “RIP Robin Williams: Remembering the genius and understanding the dark side…

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Just Do It Anyway.

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I think I recognize the patterns of my nature.

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