BPD: Obsession with a person

Originally posted on frombehindglass:

I write this entirely based on my own experiences and opinions, and with no formal understanding of BPD.
I have long wondered why it can be the case for some people diagnosed with BPD to fixate upon a particular person in his/her life at some time, idolising them, or experiencing the classic cycles of idealisation and devaluation symptomatic of the disorder towards that person. As a result of personal experience, it is a significant fear of mine that I will unwittingly do so and intrude greatly upon another person in so doing. But I digress. The key question I ask is, why is this the case?

It does not suffice to say simply that it is the product of “mental illness”, or, to avoid contention, of a particular “personality disorder”. That is analogous to saying that a computer error is caused by a physical change to the system: One must…

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Wrong Wrong Wrong

Originally posted on a super-human life:

When you’re diagnosed as borderline, you automatically lose some of your credibility. After that it’s hard for you to ever be right. “What she said made me sad” I’m sure she didn’t mean it that way, you’re just over-reacting. “That makes me angry” You’re reading too much into it. “I’m offended by that stereotype of mentally ill people” Relax, they don’t mean everyone is like that. “Silence” Did I upset you?

They say living with a borderline is “like walking on eggshells” – any and every little thing could cause us to go off. I obviously can’t say whether that’s true or not, but I can say that it makes us feel shitty as hell. Knowing that everything I do is being scrutinized, that the absence of reaction is just as concerning as the reaction itself. It makes me livid.

If I’m feeling something, it must be wrong. If…

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I positively hate positive affirmations

Originally posted on Sensitive New World:


Yeah, right.

Positive affirmations are a bad solution to a non-existent problem. Or as Jeff Foster puts it “positive thinking is the psychological version of plastic surgery for the body.  It doesn’t work.”

People who use positive affirmations think “I feel bad because I’m thinking bad thoughts.  Therefore, I will think good thoughts and I will feel good.”

And I think feeling “bad” is not a problem.


Karla McLaren writes in The Language of Emotions that “most positive affirmations (tell) yourself how to feel instead of feeling the way you feel…each of your affirmations will deny or repress the truth of the situation.”

I prefer a negative truth to a beautiful lie.

The lie is thinking there’s something wrong with the way you think and feel.

The real problem is not having compassion for yourself.

The real problem is not having curiosity or clarity.

With curiosity and clarity, your “bad”…

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A Case Against Positivity

Originally posted on Sensitive New World:


I’m not against positivity despite what the title suggests.  I’m against forced positivity.  Suggested positivity.  Positivity movements.  I wrote about my disdain for positive affirmations.  “Positive” and “positivity” have negative connotations for me and this time of year is lousy with positive messages hence my crankiness.  It’s a perfect time for a well-thought out think piece/rant on the subject.

I hate any reminders to be positive because I don’t think you need to be reminded.  I don’t think you have to do anything to be a  “positive person”.  Being reminded to be positive or any attempts to be sold on the idea that being positive is somehow a superior mental and emotional state makes me want to be negative, to take up negativity’s cause.  Because as I’ve written many times I hate being told how to feel or that how I currently feel is somehow wrong.  If I’m feeling…

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The Rejects’ Holiday by Felicia Johnson

Originally posted on Your Home with Karie Engels:

Believe it or not, the holidays can be one of the loneliest times of the year for some.

aloneDuring the holidays, there seems to be an expectation for everyone to happy and gathered together with family and loved ones. Commercials shown on television during the months of November and December depict images of what a family is supposed to look like during the holidays. Children are dressed in flannel pajamas and hovered over coveted gifts that are propped under a large, lit tree, while Mom and Dad drink hot chocolate and share Eskimo kisses. Images that present expectations like that to those who do not have a place to go or family to celebrate with during the holidays can be depressing. It can make a person feel even more alone. Loneliness can be quite painful.

Students who live far away from home, those who can’t afford to go home for…

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