I haven’t slept a wink all night! It’s now 3:30 in the morning and I’m so tired I want to cry. I think it’s partly because I ran out of my Cymbalta and partly because of my daughter’s situation. I’ve ran out of my Cymbalta a few times and every time, I get insomnia. It doesn’t help worrying about my daughter. She asked for money for food yesterday and I gave her a few bucks. She called me later and asked for more. I said no. She called me lazy and hung up on me. I’d told her I could give her a gift card for the grocery store and she asked “Where am I supposed to cook it?” and I said “Exactly!” I asked her to come home so we could have a family meeting and she said “No.” She’d agreed earlier in the day. She probably just said that because we were at the Peer Support Centre and she wanted money.
Insomnia sucks! I wish I could sleep but I’m obviously not going to get any sleep tonight. Oh well.
My son learned a new trick on his skateboard and was so happy yesterday. He was so excited to tell Grandma!
I need to do some grocery shopping. I don’t know how I’m gonna stay awake. I hope I sleep tonight. It always feels so weird and disorienting when I haven’t slept because it feels like just one long day. Usually, you would go to sleep then wake up and it’s the next day, so when I don’t have that, it doesn’t feel like another day.
Almost back-to-school time! My son goes back on September 2nd. We had a very uneventful summer, other than dealing with my daughter’s stuff the last couple of weeks. We didn’t go anywhere or do anything. Boorrring!
At least I get to see my counsellor tomorrow. Thank God! I really need to talk to her about our daughter. She doesn’t know all the stuff that’s happened while she was on holidays. Our daughter had just spend a few nights with friends. My counsellor doesn’t know that our daughter hasn’t been home for two weeks and says that she’s never coming home.
I’m sure I’ll talk to you all again shortly since I can’t sleep. Thanks again for listening.
– Joyce.
MAKE BPD STIGMA-FREE! 
I am not a parent of a teenage girl, but I was a difficult teenage girl with perhaps a similar story to your family. The best thing my mother ever did for me (in hindsight) was to stop giving me money. She bought gift cards for the grocery store, bought the groceries herself or told me what meals were available at what time at home. She offered me everything I needed with no conditions it was just on her terms. I was not required to stay at home but I could never throw ‘you won’t help me’ in her face. I was just a stubborn kid, I soon got hungry.
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Thank you for your comment. I am hoping that she soon gets hungry enough to come home and we can talk about things.
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